So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
