Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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