distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize