Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
