But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
