I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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