Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
