imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize