I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
