the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
