i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
