I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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