didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
