did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I faked an abortion last night.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
