I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
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I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
