Someone shit on the floor
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
