I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
