At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
