there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
