I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
