we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
