Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
