we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
