boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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