just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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