Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
