There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
