margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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