dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
