Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
