he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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