DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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