I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
love makes seman taste better
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
