The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
