Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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