brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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