no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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