you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
