you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
