I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
