Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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