I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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