i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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