all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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