i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
