MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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