Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
