Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
