Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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