my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
im having a threesome with these popsicles
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
