she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
