if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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