I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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