I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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