I want to have your abortion
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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