i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize