In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
