I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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