coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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