sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
