I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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