i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
