theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I still have a little drunk in my system
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
