I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
