SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
