it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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