I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
