Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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