just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
