$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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