guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
