whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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