My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
